NOT me

Monday again! And only 4 days until Christmas - where did the time go?!!?

I feel like I was just putting up Christmas decorations yesterday. It has gone by way too fast.

I need to spend some time uploading and posting pictures of all the fun we have had lately. We made cookies this weekend and had lots of fun down time. It was so nice not to have to go, go, go!

This week I did NOT dress Zane in clothes and put him to bed so it would be one less thing for me to do the next day.

I also did NOT clean out my car and need two trashcans to do so. I always keep a clean car and there is never any toys, food, sippy cups, bottles, socks, books, school bags, mail, hats, coats, shoes, and presents left in my car. Never.

While cleaning out the car I definitely did NOT get my self stuck while leaning over the third row seat. I did NOT have my legs high in the air in an extremely awkward position when I heard a house door shut and then realized that my sweet neighbors saw the whole thing and were laughing hysterically.

Oh well...NOT me. I sure wouldn't do any of those things.

Hope you laugh hard and lots today!!

I feel like a dumb ass

I had another roller coaster day today.

I set my alarm this morning to get up at 6:15 so I could actually get showered and dressed (read - actually put on make-up, do my hair and maybe put on some earrings) because the kids had their Christmas program. However, the kids got up at 6:20. Nice. So, I settled for no shower, a little makeup and my mommy uniform (gym clothes).

I got to school and was already pissed off. Why did they have to get up that early? Today was going to be different. I was going to get ready, have some coffee, a little quiet time before the day started. Like I said, today was going to be different.

Then I see all the other moms dropping off their kids. They all seemed to have time to get dressed up in their cute outfits, make-up and even jewelery! One mom even had cute boots on and a scarf! I mean seriously at 9:00 in the morning, I just don't see how that is possible. So when I saw a sweet friend I lost it. The tears the came and I couldn't stop.

I spent the rest of the day trying to recover and reflect. Why am I in this funk? Why can't I shake it? So, I spent a lot of time today asking God to help me with an attitude change.

Well, you think that I would have learned by now that when you ask you receive - I should be careful what I pray for.

Fastforward to tonight.

I was working on my blog trying to make these tabs for the new one. Anyway, I got lost in the blog world. Clicking on this link and that and I ended up here. It is a blog about a family that lost one of their sweet 3 year twin daughters named Tuesday to cancer. I can't even imagine. I read, and wept and read some more. I was lost in their story for hours.

This is where the dumbass part comes in.

I said a few days ago "However, my life is not bad. I get it. There are people that are going into this Christmas season with really dire circumstances. Sick family members, no jobs, broken marriages, financial crisis, and tragic losses. Like I said, I get it. I know that my life is not bad."

Hmmm...nope. I don't think I really get it.

It was like a big slap in the face. (Leave it to God to send His messages in a big way)

As I read my heart ached so badly for their family and then ached so badly in a differnt way for mine. Suddenly I could care less about all the "to do's" that I have to get done in the next few weeks. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was to have all three kids in my lap and do nothing but tell them how much I love them. I could literally feel the attitude change taking place.

The tiredness being replaced with a new resolve to make moments count.

The self pity that I was really feeling because I didn't have time to take care of me being replaced with gratitude that I have the privledge to take care of my kids.

The pathetic pessimistic attitude being replaced with joyful optimism.

I went straight upstairs took each child out of bed and held them so tight. I cried while I asked for their forgiveness for taking them for granted and for not "getting it". I inhaled deeply and smelled their sweet smell and brushed my hands through their hair in honor of that sweet mom that will not ever be able to do that to her daughter.

Yeah, I feel like a dumb ass. It was not the first time and it sure won't be the last time. I am sure that I will be here again soon rambling about not having enough time to do what I need to do, etc. etc. blah, blah, blah. You will all have to sit through it and see me learn my lesson again (I never said I was a fast learner, sorry) And I am sure there will be plenty more along the way. Ughh?! Why does growing always involve hard lessons? Oh well, this is one lesson that is sure worth learning no matter how many times I have to be reminded.

Please do not use your hot dog as a light sabor and other words of wisdom.

Lots of conversation takes place at the Miller Big Top. Just so you know, we only focus on teaching our kids intellectual lessons making sure to always give them words of wisdom and sage advice. Kind of like this...

Stop playing hockey with your sippy cups at the dinner table.

Let's see who can be the quietest (or who can act like a rock) gotta love that one.

Zane, get down.

McKenna, please don't lick the milk you spilt out of your cereal off the table it is not polite.

Zane, get off that.

Dog food is for dogs to eat, not you.

If you want to lick your own fingers that is fine, but please don't lick someone elses.

Zane, you are going to bust your head. Get off that.

Caleb, you cannot go commando everyday. Underwear is important to wear.

Kids, there are other things to eat in this world besides chicken nuggets and pizza.

Zane, chairs are for sitting not standing. You are going to bust you head.

Trash cans are for putting things into, not taking things out of. Except please don't put mommy's shoes in there or the remote control or daddy's keys, or....

Candy is not part of a balance diet.

I know, I know. It is all part of the plan. We figure if we keep all this intellectual mind building up the fear of paying for college will go right out the door. Scholarships here we come baby!

Crock Pot Chicken

I wanted to do something easy tonight for dinner. So I had a few things on hand and decided to throw them in the good 'ole crock pot. It was delish! Don't get me wrong it isn't going to win any blue ribbons, but the kids liked it and so did the hubs.

Here you go:

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 can of French onion soup
1 can of cream of mushroom soup
1 1/2 cups of sliced mushrooms
1 cup of white wine
2 cloves of garlic
half a sliced onion
dash of pepper

Mix it all together, cook on high until the chicken is done (throw on some fresh parsley and Parmesan if you have some) and serve over egg noodles. Yummy!

A Not feeling like me kind of week

I am too tired right now to come up with all the things that I "did Not do" this past week. Lets just say there were probably more than I wish to name since this week was particularly hard. I think that a combination of sleep deprivation and hormone imbalance was probably the culprit. (I just changed to a new birth control pill a month ago and I think I am one of those "in rare cases this pill can cause...") Well actually my husband and mom both had a impromptu sort of intervention. "You are not being yourself...your focus is not in the right place...this is not like you...this reminds me of your postpartum depression after the babies talk." So, I am off to change pills and hope that I am not going crazy.

On another note:

We did do lots and lots this week and I have pictures that I need to get up. Gingerbread houses, family game night and kids crazy Christmas show. Lots of fun!

I just put the last stamp on the Christmas cards - why do envelopes taste like that?

I am thinking about cookies, lots and lots of cookies. Believe it or not, I have not been around one piece of fudge, cookies, toffee, peppermint bark or even chex mix. Where are all the holiday treats?! Sounds like I need to get cooking.

Also, the new blog is almost finished! Yay! Did I not tell you? I am getting a bloggie makeover (not the only makeover this gal needs - can I tell you how long it has been since I have had my eyebrows waxed)! Sorry, anyway - the new blog is fabulous and I am so stinking excited. I can't wait for you to see it. It is going to have cute pics of my kiddos and fun tabs and links and all sorts of sweet stuff. Hopefully it will be up and running soon!

Alright, I am off to clean house, and get to bed...please no one get up tonight, please no one get up tonight...

Nothing left to live for...

A friend sent this to my today and I thought it was just too funny not to share.

A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

His son burst into tears and sobbed "Please don't tell me, I don't want to know!"
Confused the father asked what is going on.
The son went on to say - "When I was 6 I got the there is no Easter bunny talk. When I was 7 I got the no tooth fairy speech. When I was 8 you hit me with the no Santa speech.
If you are going to tell me that grown ups really don't have sex, then there is nothing left to live for."

Make sure you laugh lots today!

Since most of you say that you like reading my blog because it is "real"

It is easy and in fact even fun to share what goes on in this frantic circus that we live in. I love that day in and day out quirkiness that makes our family, our family. It is crazy and hectic, but I am blessed and I wouldn't have it any other way. That stuff is easy to write about. But since we are being "real" here, it is not so easy to write about my shortcomings or the mommy guilt that I deal with. So bear with me.

I am just one of many moms out there that are trying to "do it all". There are millions of moms that share my same mission:
To make a happy home (and do the dishes and laundry every once in a while)
To be a good wife
To raise kids to love Jesus
To create lasting and meaningful moments with my kids
To be a good friend and family member
To serve my church and community


That in itself is a lot but usually it I don't have to do all of those things at the same time in the same moment. However, right now on top of my "normal stay at home mom job" we have a lot of other stuff going on and it sucks is challenging. It seems like we are in crisis mode with so many other circumstances. We just lost my husbands dad, we have an alcoholic in the family that is at his all time worst, people we love are hurting in their marriages, I am trying to work a little more that usually for the extra $, and the list goes on.

Oh yeah, and it's Christmas time. Which is my most favorite time of the year. I love it and everything it stands for. But you also know what Christmas brings... LOTS of stuff to do. Christmas cards, parties, gift exchanges, cooking, parties, decorating, did I mention parties? SO fun. Certainly a time to celebrate, but like I said a lot to do if there are not normal circumstances going on.

However, my life is not bad. I get it. There are people that are going into this Christmas season with really dire circumstances. Sick family members, no jobs, broken marriages, financial crisis, and tragic losses. Like I said, I get it. I know that my life is not bad.

But right now I feel like I am in the trenches and the 'good 'ole cheery count your blessing pep talk' is not working for me. Does that ever happen to you or am I the only one? You totally get that you are blessed beyond blessed, but you are just in funk that you can't get out.

I start feeling sorry for myself that I am so tired.
I get sick and tired of being needed by everyone and I want to throw a fit and say "What about me!?" "Who is looking out for me?!"
I get pissed off that people that we love keep making the same mistakes and then we have to be there to help them through it - again.

And then I feel guilty. So guilty because how selfish is that? I know, it is terrible. I can't believe that I am thinking these things. There are so many people that are hurting, that need help and prayer and encouragement. AND I know that I have needed it and will need it in the future so how selfish is that?! Ugh. I am disgusted.

Here's the thing, I wouldn't trade being there for my family when they needed me for the world. I would walk uphill both ways to get to a friend in need. I want to decorate and celebrate Jesus' birth with my kids until we have candy canes coming out our ears. I don't want to miss the opportunity to send a note of encouragement or prayer to anyone that needs it. I want to make sure that those people that do make the mistakes over and over AND over (ugh - there I go again!) see God's forgiveness through me. That is who I want to be. It just so happens that it is all happening at the same time.

So what's a gal to do? I guess cry it out to her sweet, loving and understanding husband, vent to her mom and friends (thanks guys), take a nap with her sweet baby girl on a rainy day (ahhh...that was so nice McKenna), pray first for forgiveness and then for strength, take a deep breath and keep on going.

NOT me today

I did Not forget that I committed to make chili for 150 people and remembered 4 hours before the event.

I did Not forgot that I signed up at the beginning of Caleb's school year to organize his classroom Christmas party. Seems to me that when I signed up in August I thought it was a good idea...

I did Not cut myself on a tomato can while making said chili.

I was Not able to make the chili in 3 hours including the time it took to go to the store (God bless you mom, for watching the kids while I went or I would probably still be at the grocery store).

I did Not bribe the kids with cookies and candy so I could get the chili finished.

I did Not make a disaster of the kitchen I had already cleaned once today.

I did Not want to start drinking wine at 2.

I did Not got a notice saying I was delinquent on filing taxes for the business we are trying to start. I didn't know I had to file anything since we haven't started yet and don't have any sales. Seems like I thought it was a good idea to start a business with three small kids and two part time jobs.

I am Not about to go upstairs and watch a "race" the kids are going to put on for me and I have been telling them I will be there "in a minute" for the past 30. (Okay, maybe 45)

I am Not going to pretend that the giant zit that appeared from out of no where on the end of my nose is an attempt to be festive and dress up like rudolph for the holidays.

I am Not considering going into hibernation on Jan 1st for a very long time.

Snow day in Houston!

It was unbelievable and magical. The kids had so much fun. We never in a million years thought we would be able to make snowmen and have a snow ball fight. I took these pictures early on in the day, but we did end up with about 1-2 inches on the ground. Amazing!

Thanksgiving Dinner

As promised and still in time for those of you that need a super recipe for a turkey for Christmas. (We do Prime Rib and Yorkshire Pudding, but if you need a turkey recipe - this one is sure to please!) Using a brine does take extra time and effort, but the combination of a brine and making sure you do not over cook the turkey makes for the juiciest turkey ever! In order to make sure you don't overcook it you absolutely must have a meat thermometer and in my opinion you need a digital one that has an alarm on it.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Brine

• 4 quarts apple cider, divided
• 1 1/2 cups kosher salt
• 1/4 cup whole allspice
• 8 bay leaves
• 4 quarts cold water
• 1 20-pound turkey (neck and gizzard removed)

Sage Broth

• 2 cups low-salt chicken broth (MUST use low salt b/c the turkey will already be salted due to the brine)
  
• 1/2 onion, quartered
• 1 celery stalk, cut into 4 pieces
• 8 fresh sage leaves

Gravy

• 3 tablespoons all purpose flour
• 2 tablespoons fresh sage leaves
• 1/4 cup applejack brandy or Calvados
• 1/4 cup whipping cream

For brine:
Simmer 1 quart apple cider, salt, allspice, and bay leaves in 20-quart pot 5 minutes, stirring often. Cool completely. Add remaining 3 quarts cider and 4 quarts water. Place turkey in brine. (We used a new Home Depot paint bucket to put it in) Cover and refrigerate overnight.

Drain turkey and rinse. Arrange on several layers of paper towels in roasting pan. Refrigerate uncovered overnight.

For broth:
Simmer all ingredients in large saucepan 30 minutes. Strain sage broth into bowl.

Set rack at lowest position in oven; preheat to 450°F. Remove paper towels from roasting pan. Pat main and neck cavities of turkey dry; stuff loosely with aromatics (apple slices, garlic cloves, lemon, bunch of herbs, onion, etc) Place turkey in pan, tuck wings under, and tie legs together loosely. Rub canola oil over the entire turkey

Roast the turkey on lowest level of the oven at 500 degrees F for 30 minutes. Watch it VERY closely to make sure that it is not getting too browned. If so, then loosely tent it with foil. Insert a probe thermometer into thickest part of the breast and reduce the oven temperature to 350 degrees F. Set the thermometer alarm (if available) to 161 degrees F. A 14 to 16 pound bird should require a total of 2 to 2 1/2 hours of roasting. Let the turkey rest, loosely covered with foil or a large mixing bowl for 15 minutes before carving.

For gravy:
Pour pan juices into large measuring cup. Spoon off fat. Reserve 3 tablespoons fat and degreased juices. Pour sage broth into roasting pan. Bring to boil, scraping up browned bits. Combine flour, sage leaves, and reserved 3 tablespoons fat in heavy large saucepan; stir over medium heat 1 minute. Whisk in broth from roasting pan and reserved pan juices. Add applejack and cream and boil until gravy thickens slightly, whisking often, about 4 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Strain into sauceboat. Serve turkey with gravy.

Mmmm.... enjoy!

If you are really lucky I will get around to posting my Pecan, Apple and Sausage Stuffing recipe to go along with this ;-)

G.G. and GrandPOP

We had the best time with G.G. and GrandPop! The kids loved every minute of it. They played ball, we went fishing, we played Wii, we ate and ate and ate AND we laughed a lot!

We were so blessed to have them come visit for Thanksgiving and cannot believe they are thinking of moving here!! Wouldn't that be the best?!

While they were here, they also made a sweet gift for my kids by recording their voices telling the story of The Night Before Christmas. (Hallmark came out with it this year - precious idea and the illustrations in the book are BEAUTIFUL!) Something we will obviously treasure forever!

(p.s. there is also a coupon in Parents Magazine for $10 off the book)

All and all, it was a fantastic trip and we can't wait to see them again soon!

If only.

Where is thumbkin? Where is thumbkin? Here I am. Here I am.

If only the car next to me knew that we were singing this song on the way to school today and that we had just gotten to the part about where is Tall Man when they pulled up next to us.

And if only they didn't think that me and my three kids were flipping them off.

if only... *sigh*